- RAMDOM -

Just a random post on here, babbling on and on... dont have much in general to say, just feel like I should say something... TK is chasing prescriptions for me....  This is like I said, just a bunch of rambling, babbling etc.  Bare with me until he gets back.  There is no structure, ryhme or reason to this post... much like this battle I am fighting.

Just found my lost chap stick in my pocket... better now than later on in the dryer, just ask my wife.  I dont know if there is enough inspiration with this discovery write an entire blog entry, but I guess I can try.  I have wrote on and on about how I wanted to establish a "routine" once the chemotherapy began.  Well here we are, 3 weeks into the routine, and its a little less than pulitzer prize winning material to write about.  I guess I set my expectations a bit too high as to what I would be able to do.  I lost touch with the reality that my circumstance is unique in that the cancer involving the spine and bones causes pain and prevents me from doing alot of the things I once planned.

Wish I had something revolutionary to write about, and I just may deep down inside, but I sure dont seem to be able to put the text to paper right this second.  As of right now, just kinda letting time run its course, the best I can.

Alot of the same old, same old about here.  Nothing new as of lately, nothing really to write about.  Things are up and down, both physically and emotionally.  Nothing out of the ordinary I dont think.... but then again, it comes back to what is "normal".  Since day one of this blog, or even prior to this forum... whats normal?  I am a 29 year old with Renal Cell Cancer that has metastisized to my spine.  Nothing in that statement is normal or makes sence.

I have been busy trying to juggle pain management and the daily life as of lately, and thats been enough of a chore to keep me occupied.  Dont really want to get on here time after time and whine about what hurts and what doesnt.  The fact is that I tuly am sick, things are going to be uncomfortable, and wont always go my way.  As of lately thats about it.  Its been a roller coaster for certain, although, fortunately I have not expirienced one extreme or the other I dont think.  Its hard for me to complain, cause I can imagine that it could be worse, I am sure.

Had some great support in the form of company, great meals and goodies to eat.... probably more than I should have, but oh well.  As I have said before I dont know what I would do with out everyone.

Tomorrow there will be more chemo, and hopefully more progress shown in that department.  Its easy to get overwhelmed with info on the internet and through publications sprawled through out the Dr's offices, and really play out alot of scenarios good and bad.  My mind is dangerous when left to those devices, as there is just as much false and ill-informed resourses out there as there are benefitial... I try to differentiate the two, but its not always easy.

I am babbling on and on I'm sure, so I should probaby get on with my day.

My father and I have alot of hot rod building to do in our heads today.  Throw the fact that I miss the guys at Tigmaster, miss that daily routine, and want to get back there with them.  I miss my time in my shop, building and creating.

I know, I know, patients!.... just ready to get back to a normal sense of LIFE... Stacy, Lilli and myself... and of course ol LOU dog!

KEEP THE COMMENTS COMING, the support is amazing and helps alot!  Gives me something to write about.... and I need that now!

TK just got here with the new meds...a slight adjustment to what I had, actually just an addition to what I was on, and they damn near kill ya with side effects dont they.  I guess thats what they have to do.