...dogs are barkin...

Long day today...

Spent better part of the day watching Lilli play basketball.  Thats always great, and today was no exception.  I have missed a few games this year due to the appointments, hospital stays etc.  She had two today, and it was nice to get out and enjoy those with her, her fan club.  She played well, and we all had fun.  It was then onto dinner and groceries with the wife.  These sound like routine things for most people, but you have to understand, my typical day over the past month consist of no more than 20-30 steps with a walker.  Thats why I type this nonesense... these are vast improvements people!  Ha.   I know an afternoon at a 11yr old girls basketball game, dinner and groceries with the wife might not be really a "homerun" of a Saturday for some 29yr old men, but for me it meant alot was one of the better days I've had in a long time.  This whole fight is a blessing in disguise.  There is a light that portrays the days events just a little differently now than it did a month ago, and thats the truth.  Things happen for a reason.

My back is doing better by the day, not sure what to attribute that to other than all the above.  The radiation or any of the numerous prescription meds could be the cause, but I do know that they all come with some adverse side effects, which I am battling now.  The steriod that they have me on right from day one, to help get things undercontrol and slow the spread of cancer down, is also known to deteriorate muscle.  Well.... it has.  My muscle mass throughout my body has literally melted away.  So, the pain is better, but now I battle severe weekness and high blood pressure.  Its almost comical.  I wake up each day wondering what symptom will pop up today.  It reminds me of the old arcade game with the weasal that pops his head up, you beat the hell out of it with a mallet, forcing it back into the hole, and then another pops up somewhere else and you battle that bastard until another wears his head elsewhere.  This disease has a way of making you just feel weird, thats the best way I can explain it.  Nothings right, its all wrong.  Like I mentioned, I wake up, or get out of the chair and its one of those "what the hell?...." moments, and you just shake your head and chalk it up to just being part of "it".  Either this doesnt work, or this is sagging, or this hurts, or that one thing is back and its numb.

Never the less, the dosages of some of the meds are changing slightly and we'll get these latest concerns whipped into shape as well.  The main concern now as stated in the last posting is the cancer itself and getting that undercontrol, which we are.

It could be worse. Just watch the news. I have alot going for me here. Great people and enviroment surrounding me, and the love and support that shows up here, on the phone and in person through out the day.  I love the comments on here and in emails.  Keep em coming.  Seen some old names come up that I have not heard in a while, which is a pleasant surprise.  Once again, things happen for a reason, and we'll be better for it.

I am setting a goal today and it may be a bit out there.... but I will golf again this year.