progress?

We went to Dr. Paloyan's wednesday, it was quite positive.  I got some medications adjusted, got a good nights sleep, and had a fantastic Thursday, great dinner with wife, mom and dad.  Friday was not too bad, was a bit sore, but got out and about again with stacy, lilli, mom and dad, enjoyed the day.  Actually swallowed my pride and rode a power scooter around Sam's club.  Spent most of today nursing a pretty sore lower back.  The leg pain and weekness seems to be under control, but the back is really hindering movement and mobility as of lately.  I am early in this round of treatments though, and am very eager to get a few more under my belt.  There is also a procedure we are considering where they can inject a "bone cement" into the cancer affected areas of my spine, primarly my lower back, sacrum.  The injection will then give that weakened area a bit more integrity.  We are considering this, and may even do this very soon.  My spine is riddles with tumors, but there are two primary areas that cause me pain, and those would be the focus.  These two areas already have "multiple stress fractors", so hopefully we can get that under control asap.

I am better this week than I was last week, so... thats progress in anyones book.  Its easy to get overwhelmed with these symptons that just pop up.  Its so difficult to put into words, other than, its just plain weird.  Nothings right, nothings normal, nor will it ever be again.  Thats a reality that set in as of recently.  I dont know what normal feels like, and probably never will again.  Thats ok though.  A coach in high school used to say .... "remember who you are, where you come from and who loves ya"..... that couldnt ring more true.

Some fantastic basketball on the television as of lately, so can't complain there... good food around as well... life aint bad!

Grandpa Bill's back on track and we will be car pooling to chemo on Wednesday... I am not sure if that clinic is ready for this duo.  I think I may even have a full day with NO appointments and no shots next week, give my crew a bit of a break.  Thank you soo much to everyone, especially my dad, TK and my wife, Stacy... I have no idea what I would do without you guys...truly.

- I got nothing -

I just woke up from the afternoon nap to see Ohio State bury a last second long shot to win over Michigan... and this is who your money's going on Andy?

Anyway, speaking of Andy... got a nice email this morning from him, not uncommon as of late... this morning's email was telling me how everywhere he goes people were asking about how I was doing, because they knew I had contact with him.  It really amazes me how much support is out there.  I was taking said nap above, and was planning on getting on here to write a fancy little blog post full of adjectives to express my heart felt feelings of thanks and gratitude.  When it comes down to it, I really have nothing more that I can say other than thank you!

I really cannot imagine going through this without everyone.  I hear stories of people new to town or just moved to the area, not familier with anyone or anything for thousands of miles.  I just cant imagine.  I look at my day to day life over the past 60 days, and I just cant imagine one day with out my dad, wife, mom and all the others their to help and get things taken care of.  They have given me the best chance I could ever have to kick this thing, and thats such an amazing gift.  Its gotta be getting old, but I have to keep saying it, thank you!

Sooo... thats about all I got for today.  I was gonna get really deep and blow your minds with some verbal voodoo through the keyboard..... but then that damn last second shot from Andy's Buckeyes through my narrow train of thought wide left.

-top of the morning to ya-

Best I have slept in the past month, so much so that this is from my blackberry... Now that's "change" you can measure (take note U.S. Government...ha)  Seriously though, this is something that has hindered me the entire time, and to get a solid nights sleep waking only once to an ALARM for medication is a welcome surprise.

(back on the laptop)

I forgot to mention, but my dad noticed this yesterday.  Its not uncommon for me, at 29 years old, to be the youngest patient in my oncologist's office when I am there (which is daily).  Yesterday there was both a gal and guy younger than I, both bald, both their for treatment with their family's and support groups in tow.  This disease knows no age or limitations.  Its not prejudice, it doesnt care about money or class.  My intent is not to make people hypochondriacs, but just to make people aware.  This has changed my life and the lives of those around me, but that isnt necessarily a bad thing.  Its made us stronger and realize what really matters in life.

*** This just in***

It's World Kindey Day, just over heard the Today show mention that.  Not sure what all that involves, but something worth looking into!

check!

Some decent news and more signs of hope today after visiting Dr. Paloyan.  A slightly varied recipe of medications will hopefully keep the pain under control.  I have said it before, but that guy has been amazing.  He has a way of putting my mind at ease and I walk out of there feeling better about everything.  The MRI's were as interpreted by the neurosergon, showing progress, and that we are heading in the right direction.  Lets only hope that the chemotherapy will continue to push my recovery along!

I ran into my Grandpa Bill at the oncologist.  He was their for his second chemo treatment, but after some tests, they admitted him to the hospital for an infection.  It sounds as though it was a serious matter that needed to be addressed, but they have it under control and lets be greatful for that.  The concern is that his immune system as well as mine are very vulnerable to infection and getting sick in general.

I finally gave in and got the shower setup for my handicapped ass, as well as updated the wheels on my walker from 2.5" to 5" spindle mounts!!!    Ha...

Thanks again everyone.  Daily, the amount of support makes life just a little bit easier for all of us.  Stacy and I appreciate it, truly.  As do my parents and family.  I appreciate it more than I can express.  I am left to rely on people for alot of aspects of my life as of right now, and I dont know how I could do it else wise.

-pluggin along-

I would have a hard time telling you which is the more difficult part of this part of my life, the physical fight, or mental. 

I have an over analytical mind as it is, and then to fuel that fire with something like a diagnosis of cancer, or the waiting between appointments, it can get a bit overwhelming.  I am used to instant results or reward.  In the past, I'd do something, and I can see what my efforts produced, almost immediatly.  That is far from the case here.  There is alot of waiting, its just as simple as that..  I now have to exercise every bit of patients I have, and I find myself exhausting those at times.  Its easy to drift into a mental state thats not positive or healthy.  Thats not an option.  I have to remind myself of that.  I really cant dwell on the fact that right now my focus is geting healthy.  Sometimes I feel like thats not enough.  I feel like I should be able to work on getting healthy, as well as get 8-10 hours of work done a day.  That just is not the case.  Priority number one right now is my health, and actually, thats plenty enough to fill my plate for the day. 

Physcially, the patients are tested as well.  I am still dealing with same symptons of leg and back pain and weakness which I am ready to move on from.  I think we started altering the medications just in time, as I can tell the same muscle fatigue and weekness thats in my legs and feet, is some what started in my arms and hands.  If I couldnt get on this laptop periodically through the day, I dont know what I would do.  Tomarrow hopefully I can get some answers in this area.  We meet with Dr. Paloyan tomorrow, and I am hoping that we can get some of the pain under control again and maybe in between the future chemo treatments I can resort to a schedule and some sort of normalcy.  As of now the chemo hasnt been too bad, just the fatigue and what not.  Still have my hair too!

In the mean time, I have been going to get my shot every morning.  TK and I have been knocking out a few little things through out the remainder of the mornings, and thats about it.  I get a few good hours a day up and out, at the most.  I try to make the best of them.  The afternoons and evenings have been occupied with some exersizing, computer work for the shop, networking etc.... and some great reading.  I have recieved a handful of great books and magazines from friends and family, and they were all pleasant surprises.  I am making a point to get those read this week, or at least a good dent into them.  Also recieved a handful of cd's that were made for me by one of Stacy's co-workers.  Her cd's are always a great, an eclectic mix, all different types of funk, jam, acoustic, soulful tunes.  Music is something that has always been a vitale part of my life, even if its just in the background, it was a way to get away.  I need to get back to that.

Selection Sunday is coming up, then its on.  I look forward to that.  March Madness is here.

keep on, keeping on...

Nothing much to report other than its just been another weekened slowly slipping away.  Nothing too exciting to report, which is good.  Just been relaxing, laying low with family, trying to do as little as possible.  Been quite tired and sore, numb legs... same sypmtoms I was whining about three days ago, so no need to beat a dead horse their.  All and All, just plugging away.  I know this week will probably be more of the same.  I am going to try to get some sort of routine and get into some sense of normalcy, if for nothing else, a piece of mind.  I have appointments for shots everyday this week, but those dont take but a minute.

Their has been some great basketball, and more to come.  No real run away favorites for this years tourney, which should make it interesting.  I am still pulling for the Spartan's, but Duke is on my list as teams to watch as well.  We shall see.

Thats about it folks for this weekend... pretty uneventful, which is nice for a change.  I know my Grandpa Bill may not be having such an easy ride, so my thoughts and prayers are with him, he is a tough old man though and will make it through stronger than ever, and I know my time is coming.  We are going through this together, and thats what will help us get through it.

Thanks again to everyone, once again, it doesnt stop, daily the support rolls in, in many shapes and forms, and they are all very appreciated!