-top of the morning to ya-

Best I have slept in the past month, so much so that this is from my blackberry... Now that's "change" you can measure (take note U.S. Government...ha)  Seriously though, this is something that has hindered me the entire time, and to get a solid nights sleep waking only once to an ALARM for medication is a welcome surprise.

(back on the laptop)

I forgot to mention, but my dad noticed this yesterday.  Its not uncommon for me, at 29 years old, to be the youngest patient in my oncologist's office when I am there (which is daily).  Yesterday there was both a gal and guy younger than I, both bald, both their for treatment with their family's and support groups in tow.  This disease knows no age or limitations.  Its not prejudice, it doesnt care about money or class.  My intent is not to make people hypochondriacs, but just to make people aware.  This has changed my life and the lives of those around me, but that isnt necessarily a bad thing.  Its made us stronger and realize what really matters in life.

*** This just in***

It's World Kindey Day, just over heard the Today show mention that.  Not sure what all that involves, but something worth looking into!

check!

Some decent news and more signs of hope today after visiting Dr. Paloyan.  A slightly varied recipe of medications will hopefully keep the pain under control.  I have said it before, but that guy has been amazing.  He has a way of putting my mind at ease and I walk out of there feeling better about everything.  The MRI's were as interpreted by the neurosergon, showing progress, and that we are heading in the right direction.  Lets only hope that the chemotherapy will continue to push my recovery along!

I ran into my Grandpa Bill at the oncologist.  He was their for his second chemo treatment, but after some tests, they admitted him to the hospital for an infection.  It sounds as though it was a serious matter that needed to be addressed, but they have it under control and lets be greatful for that.  The concern is that his immune system as well as mine are very vulnerable to infection and getting sick in general.

I finally gave in and got the shower setup for my handicapped ass, as well as updated the wheels on my walker from 2.5" to 5" spindle mounts!!!    Ha...

Thanks again everyone.  Daily, the amount of support makes life just a little bit easier for all of us.  Stacy and I appreciate it, truly.  As do my parents and family.  I appreciate it more than I can express.  I am left to rely on people for alot of aspects of my life as of right now, and I dont know how I could do it else wise.

-pluggin along-

I would have a hard time telling you which is the more difficult part of this part of my life, the physical fight, or mental. 

I have an over analytical mind as it is, and then to fuel that fire with something like a diagnosis of cancer, or the waiting between appointments, it can get a bit overwhelming.  I am used to instant results or reward.  In the past, I'd do something, and I can see what my efforts produced, almost immediatly.  That is far from the case here.  There is alot of waiting, its just as simple as that..  I now have to exercise every bit of patients I have, and I find myself exhausting those at times.  Its easy to drift into a mental state thats not positive or healthy.  Thats not an option.  I have to remind myself of that.  I really cant dwell on the fact that right now my focus is geting healthy.  Sometimes I feel like thats not enough.  I feel like I should be able to work on getting healthy, as well as get 8-10 hours of work done a day.  That just is not the case.  Priority number one right now is my health, and actually, thats plenty enough to fill my plate for the day. 

Physcially, the patients are tested as well.  I am still dealing with same symptons of leg and back pain and weakness which I am ready to move on from.  I think we started altering the medications just in time, as I can tell the same muscle fatigue and weekness thats in my legs and feet, is some what started in my arms and hands.  If I couldnt get on this laptop periodically through the day, I dont know what I would do.  Tomarrow hopefully I can get some answers in this area.  We meet with Dr. Paloyan tomorrow, and I am hoping that we can get some of the pain under control again and maybe in between the future chemo treatments I can resort to a schedule and some sort of normalcy.  As of now the chemo hasnt been too bad, just the fatigue and what not.  Still have my hair too!

In the mean time, I have been going to get my shot every morning.  TK and I have been knocking out a few little things through out the remainder of the mornings, and thats about it.  I get a few good hours a day up and out, at the most.  I try to make the best of them.  The afternoons and evenings have been occupied with some exersizing, computer work for the shop, networking etc.... and some great reading.  I have recieved a handful of great books and magazines from friends and family, and they were all pleasant surprises.  I am making a point to get those read this week, or at least a good dent into them.  Also recieved a handful of cd's that were made for me by one of Stacy's co-workers.  Her cd's are always a great, an eclectic mix, all different types of funk, jam, acoustic, soulful tunes.  Music is something that has always been a vitale part of my life, even if its just in the background, it was a way to get away.  I need to get back to that.

Selection Sunday is coming up, then its on.  I look forward to that.  March Madness is here.

keep on, keeping on...

Nothing much to report other than its just been another weekened slowly slipping away.  Nothing too exciting to report, which is good.  Just been relaxing, laying low with family, trying to do as little as possible.  Been quite tired and sore, numb legs... same sypmtoms I was whining about three days ago, so no need to beat a dead horse their.  All and All, just plugging away.  I know this week will probably be more of the same.  I am going to try to get some sort of routine and get into some sense of normalcy, if for nothing else, a piece of mind.  I have appointments for shots everyday this week, but those dont take but a minute.

Their has been some great basketball, and more to come.  No real run away favorites for this years tourney, which should make it interesting.  I am still pulling for the Spartan's, but Duke is on my list as teams to watch as well.  We shall see.

Thats about it folks for this weekend... pretty uneventful, which is nice for a change.  I know my Grandpa Bill may not be having such an easy ride, so my thoughts and prayers are with him, he is a tough old man though and will make it through stronger than ever, and I know my time is coming.  We are going through this together, and thats what will help us get through it.

Thanks again to everyone, once again, it doesnt stop, daily the support rolls in, in many shapes and forms, and they are all very appreciated!

...time out...

Well, its been a long day with appointments through out.  Also had some MRI's yesterday.  So the past two days have been exhausting.  The Chemo hasnt caused too much havoc yet, other than it has me fatigued easily.  Sooo... all and all, just been tired the last two days.  Feeling good.  WEAK, but good.  MRI's of my back gave us some good news, in that it showed where radiation has had a positive effect on the areas of my spine where they hoped it would.  The tumors seemed to be more controled, smaller in size maybe... and there is no nerve or spinal cord damage or risk their of.  So that was great.  All the weakness and numbness I am expiriencing is, as stated before, a side effect of the combination of drugs they have me on, which we are taking care of.  Sounds like we are on track with everything, and time will tell.

Looking forward to relaxing and getting some rest the next couple days.  More appointments next week, but we are on track, and thats a good thing.  The support, once again, has been amazing!  I keep saying that, but its sooo true.  I cant say thank you enough.  I tell those around me all the time, that I cannot imagine having to go at this any other way... without everyones support and help it wouldnt be possible.

get set... gO!

One down...

As stated, today was the first of my chemotherapy treatments, and it was scheduled to be a 6 hour session.  I got a pleasent surprise today as it only ended up being a couple hours all together.  I guess there was some different approaches to the recipe that I recieved today, and that resulted in a shorter, but stronger dosage I guess?  I dont know really, it was all kind of foriengn to me.  A bit intimidating, but all and all, I was very excited to get that one under my belt and get on the way to remission.  The entire expirience was hard to explain, and obiviously something I never thought I would go through.  I am prepared for the side effects as we are all certain that they will present themselves at some point here soon.  The combination of drugs they pumped into my blood stream today truly amazes me.  The one chemical will literally burn your skin off, destroy your bare skin, but once placed in your blood stream its diluted just enough to not hurt you too bad, and attack the cancer cells its intended to.  Think about that, its really amazing! 

Thats about as plain and simple as you can put it.  I sat around all day thinking about this type of thing.  Thinking about what was really happening, and the actuallity of the situation.  Its really down to the nitty gritty at this point.  This is it!

As far as side effects, nothing really yet, just tired.  My hair is on borrowed time, probably next day or two they said I can expect that to go.  Every 2 weeks I will be getting chemo, and the side effects will intensify as they go.

I actually go for some more MRI's this week to keep an eye on things in my back, spine and head.  We will go over those results with my Neuro Sergeon and Oncologist just to make sure that we have things under control, and that my spinal cord is not in jeopardy in any way shape or form.  Their has been some issues with my jaw and head as late that may need attention, we will see.  Also scheduled to have some heart tests to make certain my ticker is up to the chemo that I am about to recieve.  Just when you think the scans and tests and needles are done, you get another weeks of appointments lined up, ha.

Getting excited about some good basketball coming up, conference tournys start this week, then on to march madness.

Keep the messages coming.  Its great to read them all, and I truly appreciate the support.  Its humbling and really chokes me up to think that your all their for me and my family.  It certainly makes this a bit more comfortable.  We will get through this, there is no option.  I can't wait.  It aint gonna be easy, but only the strong survive right?  I got the impression today that his thing is going to put up a hell of a fight, but I know someone whose willing to put up one hell of a fight back, ha. 

In the mean time, I have some pretty mean chops growing here... hate to see em go

I gotta shower, its been a few days.

on your mark!

Well, the port is installed, and I am ready to begin chemothreapy tomorrow at 9am.  I am scheduled for a 6-7 hour session, so a long day is in store.  I am ready though... ready to get on with this.  As stated in earlier posts, I had a few days the last week that were worse than others, but all and all, I am still feeling pretty dang swell.  I got out with my Grandpa today to drink coffee with the guys from work, which was nice, for both of us. 

I am eager to get on with the next phase of this fight.  I finished up my last radiation treatment this morning, for now anyway.  The focus now is chemo, and getting some strength back through physical threapy and exercise.

As for now, its time for the nightly routine of blood pressure, tempurature, medications topped off with the fruity laxitive drink !!!! I will have my computer and blackberry tomorrow for 6 hours while hooked up to chemo so keep the messages coming!  I'm out